Eating Disorders and Outlets

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Hi friends!

Today I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful guest post to share with you from the lovely Julia from Lord Still Loves Me. This girl. Where do I even start? After she reached out to me a while back (a few years now that I think about it), we became fast friends. I fell in love with her courage, zest for life, compassion, sweetness, and authenticity. She’s just so real. So raw. SO inspiring. You can tell how much she wants to help others and I knew that she would be the perfect person to reach out to and ask for a guest post from. I know that some of my readers are currently struggling with eating disorders and, although I can’t relate on the same level, I hope in Julia you find a beacon of hope for true, full-hearted recovery. In short, this girl is amazing <3. I’m going to let Julia take over now, but I’ll see you guys tomorrow for a tasty recipe! I just finished finals, so I’ll be more present soon!

When Christine shot me a text asking if I would be interested in writing a guest post for her blog, I did a happy dance around my room. Not even kidding. I have been reading Apple of My Eye for years now (that feels crazy to think about!), and I admired Christine from afar for a long time. When I was a senior in high school, I was having a tough time choosing what college to attend the following fall, and I noticed that Christine went to one of the schools I was deciding between. I had never really reached out to a blogger before, but I figured I should give it a shot and ask her about UC Santa Barbara.

tumblr_nkv5loktaL1qidpnzo2_1280You guys, she responded with such a long, thorough, and sweet email, that I was taken aback by the kindness with which she treated me. I knew there was something special about this girl, and though she did not entirely convince me to go to UC Santa Barbara, I know that if I had chosen to attend there we would have been fast friends. Ever since then, Christine has continued to check up on me, and I love her to death. All of my friends in real life know who she is, and I consider her my “blogger best friend.” I cannot wait for the day when I can meet her in real life, give her the biggest bear hug, and have her cook one of her numerous delicious recipes for us. All she needs to do is get through these last few finals!

She has been a role model to me for positive body image and health for as long as I have known her, and I am honored that she would believe in me enough to write for her blog.

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Today, I wanted to talk to you guys about body image, and how it can play a role in our mental health. I myself have been through the thick of it, suffering from an eating disorder that completely stripped me of my health. Thankfully, I am past that dark period of my life, and I am now firmly in recovery. I eat relatively free, and I am learning more and more about how to take care of myself and do what is best for me. I am light years away from where I was a year and a half ago, however I still have those days where I just feel plain lousy about my body.
A few days ago, I was having a conversation with my best friend about our bodies and my head quickly fell into the comparison trap as I started to think about my body.
“I wish I had bigger boobs.”
“I wish my stomach was flatter.”
“I wish my thighs were slimmer.”
You get the picture. It was not a lovely sight in my head, and I always get so upset at myself for even allowing these thoughts to hold a place in my life. I am a firm believer in self-monitoring, and I told myself from then on, I was going to try my best to not think these thoughts in the first place. Why did I feel the need to compare myself to others? In reality, I know that I will never have another girl’s body, physique, facial structure, hair, or anything else that I desire from someone else. The world does not work that way, so I should not beat myself up for not looking a certain way.

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I am currently in the process of changing the way I view the world, as well as changing the way I perceive myself to be.
As I was recovering from my eating disorder, I had a lot of weight to gain in order to be physically healthy again. This threw me for a loop and it was insanely difficult to cope with, however, it has led me to having a more positive body image than ever.

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One of the main things that helped? Journaling.
Through my eating disorder, I actually found my passion for writing. Prior to this time in my life, I never sat down to write for leisure. I saw it as a pain, and that makes me laugh now. I write 24/7 nowadays, and I cannot imagine my life without it. I find it to be immensely therapeutic as it helps uncover the feelings I tend to suppress.
Even if you feel like you have nothing to write about or work through, just put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard. Pretty soon, the thoughts will come. Perhaps, if you are struggling to begin writing, answer a question. How are you feeling? What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day? How could you have improved this day? Sometimes the simplest of questions can stir our brains and provoke ideas that would not have necessarily occurred without it.

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Something I found to be extremely helpful for me, was to write out really negative thoughts. I know this may sound strange, but hear me out. This may not work for everyone just as a heads up. I used to write down the nastiest of insults that I would think about myself on a piece of paper. I would stare at it and process the sentences. Then, I would promptly, forcefully, and abruptly cross it out. I would scratch and scratch and scratch the paper with the pen until those words were no longer visible. Following that, I would write a compliment toward myself in place of each insult directly underneath the scribbled mess. For some reason, this helped me so much. This one exercise helped release the control of those words. They no longer had power over me. I am unsure as to whether or not this would help others, but it improved my image of myself greatly. Try it out and let me know what you think!
Even if journaling does not work for you, figure out what your passion is. Whether it is a form of artwork or performing a sport or helping others, there is a part of you that has so much value. You have so much value. It honestly breaks my heart to know that so many women can resonate and relate to each other through this feeling of not being good enough. I detest that this is weight we all carry, and I am adamant in trying to change that. I would love to hear from you guys to know what helps you take away the poor body image and learn to love yourselves for so much more than the size of your jeans or the number on the scale!
Each of you are beautiful and individually wonderful. Let’s learn to take ownership of that. There is not one other person in the entire planet that could replace your role in this world. That is pretty dang awesome, right?
Tell me…
  • What’s your creative outlet of choice?
  • What is your FAVORITE feature about yourself?
A HUGE thank you to the wonderful Chistine for letting me take over Apple of My Eye!

Comments

  1. says

    Hello Julia! Very nice to “meet” you on Christine’s blog! I had browsed your blog, Lord Still Loves Me a few times and I have enjoyed some of your other uplifting and inspiring posts about life and especially about body image in the past. Kudos to getting on the right track towards a healthy body image! I was in the worst bit of my orthorexia in my later high school and early college years. So I do have some relation to what you are saying about seeing yourself so negatively and how these thoughts can be turned around to much more positive and affirming compliments about ourselves if we just get our heads right.

    One outlet that always helped me when I was feeling anxious, not just about my body image issues, but just at any time!, was getting outside and being in nature. Going for a walk or sitting on a park bench and taking in the scenery is so relaxing to me. Nature always makes me smile!

  4. says

    Great post Julia! I love what you had to say about body image and also about you’re writing tips/creative outlet. My creative outlet is definitely sewing but I am also enjoying writing a bit too at the moment. I used to enjoy art, but my self-esteem is not great at the moment, so I’ma bit scared to put paint to pad currently.
    My favourite feature…hmmm… Thanks for asking this, I need to learn to be more positive towards myself. My favourite feature would have to be my nose haha. Its quite cute and button-y.

  5. says

    Love this post way too much… Julia is my favorite ;). I can so relate to these words. When I was going through my own eating disorder, I felt so lost. I could not talk to anyone and felt so uncomfortable in my skin all the time. Even as I began the long recovery process I still was constantly in a mental state of comparison and was always thinking such negative thoughts about myself and my life in general. Having good body image is plain difficult in this society nowadays, but with enough practice and self love anyone can make it happen. I am so glad I have begun to do more writing and journaling, as it truly does help. Thank you so much Christine and Julia, you two make my world go round :’).

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